*Legutóbbi nyomtatott lapszámunkban (Kredenc- 2019/tavasz) Kovács Brigitta angol nyelvű cikke tévesen, javítatlan változatában jelent meg. Olvasóinktól és a cikket javító Szalainé Kovács Renátától is elnézést kérünk. A javított változat itt olvasható: *
Masochism

When we get together with a man, we don’t really think about the disadvantages -injuries he can cause- when we’re on cloud 9. Actually this pain is not guaranteed, but somehow women usually fell for men who hurt them. One can call it masochism, but I don’t think that every women would want that… simply they are women. Why does it always hurt when we’re on that way? When two people meet and even if they break up, will they still feel the same about the other? When we are in love with someone and we break up, where does love go? Or did it exist at all? What did we fight for then? What hurt when we broke up? I guess realizing that is when we face loneliness and that we’re going to be alone again. Or we realize that it was real love and we miss the other. How much time is allowed for crying and when are we supposed to move on after a break up? It’s all up to you. Suffer as long as it feels necessary. At least that’s the healthy way. And here I am: the one who behaves like a man. I’m over my ex in ten seconds and after a while he comes to my mind and then I fall apart. However, this doesn’t happen with every guy… only with the ones who were important to me. Somehow, some time after I meet a guy, who’s the same, whom I can’t get along with and even if I fight for us, it’s not enough.

So there are some relationships that are very injurious and we can’t quit so easily. Like when he’s just not that into you. When you are lovers and deeply in your heart you know that he’ll never ever break up with his girlfriend. When he’s unable to get committed and so on… Here’s Mr. South-American. I was over him within… ten seconds after he left. And he won’t stop writing me those messages. On Saturday I was chilling and watching my series and then came a text message from him. There it was. The message I was looking forward to get. He said he was coming back to Budapest and asked if I wanted to meet. I was thinking to myself: Why did he feel he had to write to me? I was confused. Until that moment I did not care about him, but I had to rethink the whole story. Then I called two friends of mine and they told me to forget this man. ‘He’s really not your type, just move on.’ But I was so curious, so I decided to meet him in order to forget him for good and all. We will meet, drink, spend the afternoon together and that’s all. And what else would you do if you were in my shoes? Wouldn’t you commit this mistake?

What about quitting? What about mistakes? I know there are mistakes we have to commit to realize it really was a mistake. We are human beings, we are curious! Let’s find out what the world hides from us. Some pain, disappointment… Think about it! I’ve already told that it is worth to act crazy in order to get some experience. I mean, don’t kidnap anyone, don’t kill anyone, don’t rob a bank or so, but you can meet your ex and spend a nice afternoon together. As Karina would say: ‘You can create the illusion.’

So here’s the point, when romance and reality meet, and you’re on cloud 9, your friend grabs you out of that shit. You see? Friends are also useful when it’s about love. When you are drunk and your friend helps you to get sober again. But why do we get drunk, if we already know the aftermath?